BE WISE IN HANDLING YOUR ANGER

(James 1:19-20; 4:1-2)

 

What is your view about anger? What are some bad experiences you have had for failing to control your anger?

Anger is a normal human emotional experience. Anger by itself may not be dysfunctional, but the way we express it can be worrying. The Bible never say anger is a sin, but Paul reminds us, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (Eph 4:26).

Anger is God-given energy intended to help us to solve problems. Anger will alarm us when something is not right. Expressing anger can be God-pleasing and constructive when our underlying motivation is to restore relationship, fight injustice, or battle evil. For example: Moses was in rage when he found the Israelites were worshipping the golden calf. Jesus was angry when the Jews defiled God’s temple in Jerusalem (John 2:12-18). Anger is destructive when it estrange our relationship with God and with other people and split the community.

Anger and culture

The Asian culture emphasize much on self-control and proper social behaviours. Unfortunately we often misconstrue propriety as a need to inhibit and suppress unpleasant emotions. We dare not express our anger openly or readily.

Some ways people normally deal with their anger:

Repressing or Suppressing Anger ~ Peace-faking

They deny and overlook some unpleasant and hurting experience pretending everything goes well.  Or they suppress and keep it to themselves. These are peace-faking and may lead the person to depression.

Exploding Anger~Peace-breaking

Exploding outwardly in aggressive ways, attacking other people or spreading rumours and gossips. . This is very destructive.  It’s a peace-breaking.

Confessing Anger~Peace-Making.

We need to acknowledge that we are upset, unhappy, and angry about something or certain people. We admit that we are angry. And talk about it. This is the first step to ‘peace-making.’

James reminds us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Learning to listen and slow to speak are some helps to handle our anger and give us time to acknowledge and express it in a constructive way.

Self-valuation, the way to handle our anger (James 4:1-2) “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight…” Most anger comes out from our own untamed desires. We need God’s grace to examine and to bring our concern to Him.

The Bible tells us, A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keep himself under control. Beware that we don’t let anger to control our lives, but may the Spirit of God control us and enable us to grow in gentleness and self-control, so that we won’t let anger estrange us from God and others